Believing in grace for salvation does not guarantee that you will show grace in practice, such as in theology debates.
So far as I can tell, Free Grace people are no better at showing grace in debates than anyone else. I’ve seen plenty of ridicule and mockery on Free Grace forums. I’m sure I have participated in that, too, and I apologize.
What often happens is that a sensitive person who might never have asked a question before will speak up for the first time and ask what they feel is a crucial question, and instead of getting a straight answer, they get mocked and leave the forum with their feelings hurt. I hate to see that happen. It is so unnecessary. And ungracious. I came across some good advice from Augustine in his famous discussion about God and time:
“I come now to answer the man who says: ‘What was God doing before He made Heaven and earth?’ I do not give the jesting answer—said to have been given by one who sought to evade the force of the question—‘He was getting Hell ready for people who pry too deep.’ To poke fun at a questioner is not to see the answer” (Confessions, Book 11, chap. 12).
Showing grace in a theological debate means refraining from giving “the jesting answer” that pokes fun at the questioner. Why is that ungracious?
Remember that salvation by grace means being saved apart from your works (Gal 2:16; Rom 4:5; Eph 2:8-9; Titus 3:5-7)—apart from any claims to righteousness you might make as the basis of your salvation. Grace means you can never say, “Lord, Lord, look at all the good things I’ve done for you! Now save me!” Grace excludes self-righteousness. We’re all in the same boat, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:23).
When you ridicule someone for asking an honest question, you’re implying you’re better than them. It’s an expression of self-righteousness. You take the role of the Pharisee in the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, saying, “Thank God I’m not like this moron!”
So, how do you answer graciously?
Here is Augustine’s approach:
“My reply will be different. I would much rather say, ‘I don’t know,’ when I don’t, than hold one up to ridicule who had asked a profound question and win applause for a worthless answer” (Confessions, Book 11, chap. 12).
Isn’t it refreshing to hear someone say, “I don’t know”?
When you admit that, you’re doing several things at once.
First, you’re being honest about your limitations, which tells the questioner you don’t think you’re better than them.
Second, you’re admitting that the question is tricky, which validates the questioner’s struggle with it.
Third, you’re saying the questioner is not alone—you’re ignorant of the answer together!
And fourth, instead of being a conversation-stopper, admitting, “I don’t know,” can open the door for you to spitball an answer: “I don’t know, but what about this?…” Then, instead of dogmatically telling the questioner what to believe and to bow to your superior intellect, you’re graciously inviting them to think through a challenging problem together.
Do you see the difference that gracious debate can make?
Ridicule erects walls, while grace builds bridges.
PS: If you’re curious about Augustine’s opinion about what God was doing before He created heaven and earth, his surprising answer is that the question is confused. How so? Augustine believed that time is part of creation, so when someone asks what God was doing before creation, they’re wrongly assuming there was a time before time, which makes no sense: “if before heaven and earth were made there was no time, then what is meant by the question, ‘What were You doing then?’ If there was not any time, there was not any ‘then’” (Confessions, Book 11, chap. 13). Instead of being in time, God is outside of it, so the concepts of before or after do not apply to God. He lives in an eternal (i.e., timeless) now: “Your years neither go nor come…Your years abide all in one act of abiding…Your years are as a single day” (Confessions, Book 11, chap. 13). Since God is outside of time, there was no time when He was not a Creator. And if you have any follow-up questions about what that means, let me admit right away—I probably don’t know!
Send your questions or comments to Shawn.
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