Building a biblical marriage can be difficult, but the following are five tips to help get you started from a married-a-long-time, has-a-bunch-of-kids, still-in-love, wife.
Make it a personal daily, or even hourly goal, to cling to God, Scripture, and your spouse. Gently and humbly encourage your spouse to do the same. If everything in the world pulls us like a riptide away from God and our spouse, it would be foolish to go with the flow and expect to end up anywhere but lost at sea. In a real riptide, you’d never do that. Survival would require a consistent effort towards the desired destination, and it’s the same in marriage.
“…Cling to what is good.”Romans 12:9 NKJV
Engage when you want to check out. Something within us desires to disengage at times. As a culture, we value moments of self-absorption. “Just a minute to myself” becomes the goal. That kind of thinking feeds itself and what we feed ourselves is what we begin to hunger for. So, we unintentionally move towards isolation at the expense of connection. I’m finding that when we desire to disengage, a deeper level of satisfaction and connection lies a single step in the opposite direction. Being attentive when you least want to can reward you with a depth of relationship that checking out prevents. Drawing near to your spouse in even the smallest way when you have nothing left to give is what nurtures an elusive, intimate, lifelong love affair. Just reach out.
And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works…exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.Hebrews 10:24-25 NKJV
Make it a habit, every morning and every time something is amiss, to say, “Can we pray together?” Keep it brief and considerate on your end to avoid creating resistance. Not, “God, help my spouse!” but “God, please help us.”
pray without ceasing1 Thessalonians 5:17 NKJV
Sometimes, we just need to admit that we were wrong. Ask for or offer forgiveness, giggle a bit, and move on before the sun goes down on it!
…Don’t let the sun go down on your anger…be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.Ephesians 4:26, 32 CSB
Throw away your pajamas and make it a habit to go to bed naked every night. Being available to your husband is great, but it’s even better and way more fun to go a step further and show that you enjoy and even hope for intimacy with him. You will not regret this! Do not wait until you’ve lost 5 pounds, and maybe don’t even announce the plan. Just do it! Turn out the lights if you’re embarrassed.
Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ.Colossians 3:23-24 CSB