Today (August 13th) is our wedding anniversary.
Abby and I have been married for nineteen years.
Since we both came from divorced families, one of our agreements going into the marriage was that we wouldn't divorce for any reason. We'd stick through whatever challenges came our way. Our marriage would be “to the dirt,” as one of our friends puts it.
I love Abby. I completely and utterly trust her. There are maybe two or three other people I can say that about. We call ourselves “Team Shabby” because we are a team. We depend upon each other for so many things. I’m always astonished by how symbiotic our life together has become. What I mean is, there are things that happen in the house—in our shared life together—that I take care of without her having to think about it and that she takes care of without me having to think about it. We say we share a brain. That's what it can be like. We depend upon each other.
Abby’s love has also helped me spiritually. For many years, I struggled with believing in God’s love for me. I believed God was my Creator, King, and Judge, but my Father who loves me? That was harder. I understood the words but didn't believe them about myself. But I finally had a breakthrough after marrying Abby.
We were living in Amsterdam with no friends or family around. It was just the two of us in a tiny student apartment. She had left everything to be with me. And it hit me: here she was, someone who had no reason to love me, yet she did! She loved me just because. How could that be? And then I finally had a breakthrough—that's what God is like. The Father loves me, too, just because! (Incidentally, that breakthrough about God's love led me away from Calvinism.)
Now, here’s my question: do you think Abby’s love and loyalty motivate me to cheat on her? When I think about how I can completely trust her, do you think that inspires me to sin against her and to betray her?
Of course not!
Isn't the truth the exact opposite? Knowing that she loves me and I can trust her makes me want to stay faithful. Her love for me makes me want to love her even more. Does that make sense—that faithfulness inspires faithfulness and that love begets love?
Why, then, do I hear people say that preaching grace will give people a license to sin? (For example, watch this clip).
Really? That’s what grace inspires?
That concern makes no sense to me. I understand what the words in the question mean. I can understand why someone would ask that as a theoretical issue. But being concerned that grace would really inspire someone to sin? No. That attitude is so far removed from my thinking that it's hard to relate.
In my experience, knowing that Jesus loves me, died for me, saves me even though I don’t deserve it, and will never cast me out inspires me to love Him even more.
I have plenty of reasons to be tempted to sin, but grace isn't one of them. It may be the thing that helps me resist sin the most. In fact, that’s what grace does, according to Paul:
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, instructing us to deny godlessness and worldly lusts and to live in a sensible, righteous, and godly way in the present age, while we wait for the blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ (Titus 2:11-13, emphasis added).
The power of grace, like the power of love in a committed marriage, doesn’t lead to betrayal or unfaithfulness—it leads to an even deeper commitment. If we truly grasp the depth of grace, we won’t see it as a license to sin but as a profound motivator to live righteously for our great God and Savior, Jesus.
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Send your questions or comments to shawn@freegrace.in.
Read his latest book, The Five Points of Free Grace for free, buy it from us, or from Amazon.
