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How to Handle Conflict with a Sister in Christ

April 30, 2019

If you haven’t found yourself in this uncomfortable spot, you will at some point. I’ve noticed two ways believers deal with confrontation. There’s got to be a better way!

  1. An immature believer responds in the flesh. She lashes out in words of anger face-to-face, gossips, or posts about it on Facebook hiding behind her keyboard.
  2. A more mature believer might still attempt to handle a confrontation and think she is doing the right thing by avoiding the person, ignoring her, or even switching churches.

God’s Word Is Clear

…if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

Matthew 18:15 NKJV


First of all, picture the resolution. If your desire/goal is to be back in fellowship, regain trust, or healing, you need to stop before you respond hastily and do more harm. What does God’s character show us?

But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.

Psalm 86:15 NKJV


Ask God for wisdom and a heart of humility. Ask Him to show you any wrong on your part that you need to confess to Him, and ask for forgiveness. (Your wrong may be that you’ve complained or shared it with someone else.)  Be sure to say the words “I was wrong.” Humility normally breaks down walls and opens the doorway to resolution. There’s no room for pride here.

Finally, brethren…Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

2 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV


…if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

Matthew 18:15 NKJV

Confess/apologize first for anything you need to. Share and listen. Pray for resolution together and be willing to let God work. The “work” on your part may be uncomfortable – this whole situation will be out of your comfort zone. You will survive.


In the end, you can’t control the other person. It is in God’s hands.

But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John 1:7-9 NKJV

Humility + Love + Obedience = Mending, Healing & Sweet Fellowship

Gratefully, we have a Heavenly Father who always forgives, and He is our perfect example. In fact, it’s because of His forgiveness that we have the promise of everlasting life! Let’s forgive like He does or seek forgiveness when we are at fault.

14 comments on “How to Handle Conflict with a Sister in Christ”

  1. “Your wrong may be that you’ve complained or shared it with someone else.” I fail at this a million times. Thank you for these words.

  2. This is so helpful Amy, great topic idea! It’s applicable to every relationship that I’m in, including with my husband and my kids. I’m always amazed by the results of speaking to someone in private. It seems like that respect opens the door for a deeper, more abundant relationship. Thank you for sharing this!

  3. What a great topic to bring up. It’s one that get’s our heart rates up and definitely puts us out of our comfort zones. However, when we chose to work through conflict it can be such a beautiful result with a stronger friendship resulting. Thanks for sharing Amy.

    1. I was on the “wrong” side of this scenario last year. I needed to ask for forgiveness. It was hard and uncomfortable, but brought sweet fellowship and blessings!

  4. Thank you Amy for sharing so beautifully the importance of how to deal with conflict in a loving, biblical way~!!! It really touched my heart. I was real glad to see your post~!!! 🙂

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