Most families have experienced a child who starts making self-destructive choices, leading them down a path away from their family’s values and the faith they were taught. Many parents and grandparents know what it means to stay up at night praying for their “prodigal” sons and daughters to come back “home.”
How do we minister in grace to people who have left the faith and have begun to walk in darkness?
Read through the Parable of the Prodigal Son(s) in Luke 15:11-32. Each son was “lost” in his own way—one through overt sin and rebellion; the other through a more hidden hard-heartedness and legalism. Here are six ways to minister to prodigals.
1. Pray More than Lecture. The father doesn’t shame or condemn his younger son. The father lets him leave without a lecture, then welcomes him back home without a reprimand. Likewise, when the resentful older son refuses to attend the party, the father doesn’t write him off; instead, he goes out and pleads with him without humiliating him. That doesn’t mean condoning or excusing sin. It means believing that demonstrating grace changes hearts where nagging rarely does.
2. Model Hope, Not Despair. The father welcomes the younger son with open arms and patiently engages the bitter older son, helping him to see this was a time for celebration, not anger. Neither son’s behavior makes the man abandon his fatherly love or hope that both will celebrate together. Remain faithful when someone wanders or is resentful.
3. Keep the Door Open. While the father saw his son as “dead” he didn’t give him up for dead, but kept looking for his son to return. And when that day finally came, he wasn’t taken by surprise. He was actively looking for his son and saw him “while he was still a long way off.” Likewise, the father leaves the celebration to approach the older son outside and invite him in. He kept the door open for both boys. Stay relationally available and watch for signs of return.
4. Refuse Scorekeeping. The older son was upset at his prodigal brother’s return and challenged his father by listing his service, obedience, and perceived lack of reward, and contrasting that with his brother’s sins. Don’t turn your faithfulness into a claim that another person deserves less mercy. And don’t hold past failures over the prodigal’s head when grace begins to work.
5. Celebrate. Make the prodigal’s restoration an occasion for communal celebration. Churches and families should rejoice at signs of return. Public joy helps overcome private shame. But keep the celebration sensitive to the returning person’s privacy.
6. Reinforce Identity in Christ. When the son returns, hoping to maybe come back as a mere servant, the father clothes him with a robe, ring, and sandals that communicate that he was and remains a son. Likewise, remind the prodigal of who they are “in Christ,” not who they were in failure. Restoration includes receiving someone as family rather than permanently treating him as a disgraced outsider.
The good news is that God’s grace reaches both the rebellious and the resentful. Whether you’ve wandered into open sin or drifted away by hiding behind your good behavior, Jesus Christ came for you. He died for your sins on the cross and rose again from the dead, and he saves everyone who believes in him. You don’t have to earn your welcome or prove that you deserve His love. And if you already belong to Christ, your failures have not canceled His saving promises to you. You’re still His. Come home to fellowship with the Father. His grace is greater than your shame.
Shawn Lazar (DPT, McMaster Divinity College) is the pastor of Gateway United Baptist Church in Denton, TX. Purchase his book One-Point Preaching here and his latest book Once Saved Always Saved? here.
Send your questions or comments to Shawn.
