In a famous Seinfeld episode, “The Opposite,” George Costanza is at Monk’s Café with Jerry, reflecting on how every choice he has ever made was wrong. Jerry responds, “If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.” For the rest of the episode, George starts doing the exact opposite of what his instincts tell him to do. This radical change leads to unexpected success: he gets a job with the Yankees, starts dating a woman, and gains confidence. By doing the opposite, life finally starts going his way.

That can be good Christian advice! In fact, that is something like Paul's advice to the Ephesians in 4:25-32.

Paul urged the Ephesians to put off their old way of life and to put away their sins. But how can they do that? How can you do it?

Just telling people to “stop sinning!” doesn’t work. And that isn’t what Paul says. Not if you read him closely.

Let me explain a little background to what we are about to read. In Ancient thought, people believed that doing the opposite of whatever was hurting you was a form of therapy. As a Latin expression put it, contraria contrariis curantur (Opposites are cured by opposites). For example, they would fight disease by using remedies that had the opposite effect. They fought a fever with a cool bath and the chills with a hot bath and spicy foods.

The ancients also applied the same logic to the moral life. To fight a vice, one must practice the corresponding virtue.

You see that logic in what Paul tells the Ephesians. Paul will name a sin and then urge the Ephesians to take the opposite action. For example—

Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another (v 25).

Vice: Dishonesty, expressed in lying.

Virtue: Honesty, practiced by telling the truth.

If you have a problem lying, go out of your way to tell the truth. Make it your practice to be honest and truthful, even when it hurts. As that virtue develops, you may find it easier to resist the temptation to lie.

Let the thief no longer steal. Instead, he is to do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need (v 28).

Vice: Greed, expressed in stealing.

Virtue: Industry, practiced by working a job. And generosity, which is practiced by sharing with those in need.

If you have a problem with theft, which may be rooted in greed, Paul advises getting a job (in this case, manual labor). But more than that, he recommends deliberately giving away the things you have earned by honest labor to people who need it. Practicing generosity or charity is one way to fight the vice of greed rooted in your heart.

No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear (vv 29)

Vice: Malice, expressed in foul language.

Virtue: Charity, practiced by building people up.

If you have a problem with “salty” language, go out of your way to speak words that build others up. Train your tongue to say what is good so it becomes harder to speak what is evil.

Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ (vv 31-32).

Vice: Anger and bitterness, expressed in shouting and slander.

Virtue: Charity, practiced by showing kindness, compassion, and forgiveness towards others.

If you struggle with anger, don’t let it fester into bitterness or revenge. Do acts of kindness and charity toward that person you are angry with. Forgive them just as you have been forgiven.

Do you see the pattern in Paul’s advice? Do you see that Paul does not recommend putting away sins by hoping you will stop or that they will go away naturally on their own? Instead, you are to do the opposite. Go out of your way to practice the virtue corresponding to the sin you are struggling with.

Let me add a final thought.

Paul expected the Ephesians to develop the virtues together as a community. Strictly speaking, Paul’s admonitions were not addressed to individuals but to the church. Twice, Paul says these actions should be done to one another (“we are members of one another”; “be kind and compassionate to one another”). You cannot obey a one-another command without someone else to obey it with.

It takes a church to develop the virtues.

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Send your questions or comments to shawn@freegrace.in.

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