Are you experiencing conflict in your church? Have you watched two leaders clash and fail to reconcile?

That’s exactly what happened between Paul and Barnabas—two of the church’s first missionaries and apostles (cf. Acts 14:14). Their disagreement was so sharp that they parted ways—and so far as we know, never ministered together again.

You can read about it in Acts.

In Acts 12:25, we read that Paul and Barnabas took Mark on their mission trip. But by Acts 13:13, we read that Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem. We’re not told why he left, or that there was any conflict over it. But by Acts 15, it becomes clear that Mark had deeply disappointed Paul.

In Acts 15:36ff, Luke informs us that Paul planned to revisit the churches he had planted with Barnabas. Barnabas wanted to take Mark, his cousin (cf. Col 4:10), but Paul refused, because Mark had deserted the mission when they were in Pamphylia and had not continued with them.

Paul and Barnabas were both Spirit-filled, godly men. But they disagreed on this issue. It was not a disagreement about doctrine or morality. It was a disagreement over the practical wisdom of giving someone who once deserted the ministry a second chance to prove himself.

Paul reasoned that since Mark had deserted them once before, he might do that again, making him untrustworthy.

We’re not told what Barnabas’ reasoning was, but you can imagine that it might have had to do with grace and giving second chances. Barnabas had been one of the first to give Paul a second chance when he first converted to Christianity. Maybe he felt that Mark deserved a second chance, too. The fact that Mark was his cousin probably helped.

But Paul and Barnabas couldn’t agree to a compromise or a reconciliation. So the team split, and they went their separate ways. Barnabas took Mark and headed to Cyprus. And Paul took Silas and left for Syria and Cilicia.

What happened between Paul and Barnabas wasn’t only tragic, but painfully relevant to church life today. Here are four lessons we can learn about when Christians disagree.

Lesson 1: There will always be disagreement in the church.

Never think of the church as a utopia. You’ll never find a perfect church. We’re sinners who are saved by grace, and must continue to live by grace, because even the best of us—mature Christians like Paul and Barnabas—are so far from perfection that some level of conflict is inevitable. The fact that many Christians are carnal and immature makes it even more likely!

When disagreement happens, don’t give up on the church or the faith, and don’t resent the people involved. What else should you realistically expect? The truth is, sinners will sin—that’s why we needed a Savior in the first place. Remembering that can open your heart to show grace and compassion to those caught in the conflict.

Lesson 2: You don’t have to choose sides.

If you read Luke’s presentation of this fallout, you’ll see that he presents it without adding to the drama or giving his judgment about who was right and who was wrong. He described the conflict simply and objectively, without gossiping, taking sides, or making anyone out to be the villain.

One way to incite a civil war in your church is to take a personal conflict and force everyone to choose sides. You don’t have to do that.

But what if you're in the middle of trouble between brethren, should you expect guidance from God?

Lesson 3: God will not always give clear direction.

I assume that Paul and Barnabas must have prayed to the Lord for guidance. I’m sure they quoted Scripture to each other and tried to decide the matter Biblically. They might have also sought the Lord’s guidance through dreams, visions, or prophecies, which you see happen in Acts. But apparently, the Lord chose not to reveal His will supernaturally in this situation. There was no voice from heaven declaring who was wrong and who was right and how to move forward. So Paul and Barnabas were each left to make the best decision they could.

God won’t always give a clear answer to a conflict. And that means equally gifted and mature believers might follow their consciences in different directions.

But when that happens, will the church necessarily suffer?

Lesson 4: God can bring good out of disagreements.

God doesn’t approve of sin and discord, but He sovereignly allows it. And in His providence, He can use it to accomplish His purposes. In this case, the missionary team split up. But that meant two teams instead of one—twice the reach, twice the encouragement, twice the ground covered, planting more churches, and encouraging more believers across the Roman Empire.

We don’t hear about Barnabas again, and some have inferred that means Barnabas was on the wrong side of this fight. But that’s an argument from silence. And where Mark is concerned, we know that God, like Barnabas, didn’t give up on him. The young man continued to serve in ministry, and over time, proved his faithfulness and usefulness to the Lord. Indeed, Paul and Mark eventually reconciled, with Paul later calling Mark his co-worker (Colossians 4:10, Philemon 24, and 2 Timothy 4:11). He also developed a strong relationship to Peter, who referred to “Mark, my son” (1 Peter 5:13). But most of all, Mark ended up writing the Gospel that bears his name, which ancient tradition had said was Peter’s memoirs.

If you’re facing a painful disagreement in church today, don’t lose heart. Even if two Christians go their separate ways, God won’t abandon either one. The Lord will still be working, restoring relationships, growing character, and advancing His Kingdom.

_______________________
Send your questions or comments to shawn@freegrace.in.

Read his latest book, The Myth of Tithing and the Joy of Grace Giving by getting it from us or from Amazon.